Battling "Fiery Attacks"

This week I went out to dinner with some of my girlfriends.  I am so blessed by this group of girls--they are an encouragement to me, my marriage and my faith.  We were talking about how things had been since our last girls' dinner and got to talking about how sometimes when we wake up in the mornings we are so down on ourselves.  It's like all these thoughts that we've struggled to keep at bay during the day flood into our minds during our sleep.  This really struck me and the next morning I was reading Jesus Calling (a little daily devotional by Sarah Young written as if Jesus was speaking directly to you—really good, highly recommend it) and it said “do not be surprised by the fiery attacks on your mind.  When you struggle to find Me and to live in My peace, don’t let discouragement set in.  The evil one abhors your closeness to Me.”

I started thinking about these words in relation to what I'd been discussing with my girlfriends the night before and  two things really struck me: 

 1.       In sleep we are the least in control of our mind and our thoughts which is the best time for “fiery attacks”

 2.       The bible specifically talks about Jesus getting up in the morning to pray. (Mark 1:35)

I’ve always thought it’s no big deal when you have a “quiet time” or pray or study, but I really think there is a reason it should be morning—we have to combat all of those hours of “fiery attacks” and equip ourselves for what will come during the day.  The devotional and conversation with my friends really reinforced wanting to have a daily time, in the morning, where I’m pouring good into myself-whether reading a book, scripture or just praying.  This is a challenge for me because I am so easily distracted in the morning - wanting to clean something, get a start on the day, make Newton coffee, spend time with the dog or head in early to work.  I am really trying to reserve time for this in the morning and know on the days that I do spend that time with God--whether it's 10 minutes or 30, my days are so much better.  I am calmer, less distracted by the whirlwind of life, more focused on Him and more peaceful and joyful. 

 

This idea seems so obvious but it's hard to commit to and execute.  Just some food for thought!  Hope you'll give a daily quiet time with God a try. 

 

My Best Friend's Wedding (Part II)

She's MARRIED!!!  Kandace celebrated her wedding day 10.20.12 with a beautiful ceremony and PERFECT reception.  Everything was amazing--the venue, the flowers, the food, the band, the cakes and of course the bride and groom.  Kandace looked stunning--just like "wedding barbie."  Some highlights below strung throughout the toast I gave at the rehearsal dinner.  I am do excited for Mr. and Mrs. Lang!!  

Kandace and I have been friends for 12 years and we’ve experienced so much together—from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows.  From the high school years where we were trying to figure out how to fit in to the college years where we really came in to our own, to the post-college years with first jobs, late nights and lots of fun, to navigating friendships and relationships and finally marriage.  We’ve gone through homecomings and proms, playing golf, deciding on colleges, mending broken hearts, conquering sickness,  finding first jobs, having first loves, celebrating engagements, planning weddings and everything in between.  I can truly say I would not be the same person without having her in my life. 

As I met my husband, Newton, and Kandace met Eric, a strange thing started happening.  The closer we got to our significant others, the more we weren’t each other’s first call when something exciting happened or we had frustrating news to vent about.  In fact, when we were each other’s first call, it was usually to compare Fro Yo experiences, recent purchases or when we needed advice about the boys.  It wasn’t that we weren’t as close or our friendship was fading, but rather it was the natural progression of things, as I truly believe your husband should be your best friend. 

It’s taken some adjustment on both of our parts and we’ve found our stride—I know some friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I know Kandace is my lifetime friend.  As I prepare to hand off my best friend to her new best friend, as she did for me last year, there are some things you need to know, Eric.  So much of this you have experienced, but I want to make sure you understand the treasure you’ve been given.

 1.       Kandace is FIERCELY LOYAL. 

Kandace will always be by your side.  She will always fight for you.  She will stick up for you when you are plain out wrong and she will defend you no matter what.  She will always believe the best in you, no matter how many times you mess up or how many times you come to her with the same problem over and over again (not that I’ve EVER done that).  She will be your biggest supporter and biggest encourager…just don’t get on her bad side J

2.       She is a TRUTH TELLER.

She will set you straight even if you don’t want to hear it.  She will defend you to anyone else, but when it comes to just the two of you she will put you in your place.  This is a RARE quality and the mark of a true friend.  She loves you enough to be honest with you.  Don’t take that for granted or hold it against her when all you really want her it to say is “yes, that DOES look good on you.” 

3.       She has always had “THE LAUGH.”

I know you know all about this one by now—you’ve seen enough funny TV shows that is MUST have slipped out once or twice.  The best thing about the laugh, besides the shock value for those who have never heard it, is that it’s so reflective of Kandace’s positive view on life.  She will be the first one to laugh at jokes and make people feel at ease; it’s been so fun for me to watch her become more secure in herself and let that laugh loose and really enjoy life.  Plus, if you ever need the attention off you, it’s almost a guarantee J

 
Some other quick tidbits of advice: she loves a clean the kitchen, she hates laundry (folding and putting it away), she MUST watch ALL of the lifetime Christmas movies—and there is a 25 day countdown starting December 1—she is always cold, and as you already know she gets a puppy-dog runny nose when she eats…

 As you are about to celebrate the beginning of your life together, I turn over my best friend to you.  I could not be happier that it is you, Eric.  While I have left you pretty big shoes to fill, you have loved Kandace so well over the last two years and you make her happier than you can know.  However, don’t think you are getting rid of me—there are some situations that can only call for a girlfriend and a glass of wine. 

 Kandace, I love you.  I am so happy for you and to be a part of this time in your life.  I leave you with these words:

 Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.  Thank you, Kandace, for leaving your footprints on my heart and I can’t wait for the next decade of our friendship…and babies!  Cheers to you both!

 I could not be happier for my best friend, she has a lifetime of happiness ahead of her! 

 

Home, Sweet Home

We bought our first house in June 2011, just two short months before we got married…looking back I don’t know why we did that to ourselves!  Wedding planning was a stressful enough, but then adding house hunting and the buying process—what were we thinking??

 To make a long story short, we ended up with a beautiful home.  Correction, we ended up with a beautiful home that just might be a lemon.  We bought a property that had been on the market for just about two years.  We got an INCREDIBLE deal thanks to my husband who negotiated the whole thing with some support/resourcing from our families.  It’s way more space than we need right now, but the house has been wonderful to host showers and parties and allows for my family to visit. 

 

However, in the last year we’ve had an AC unit with broken condensation pipe leading to leakage through our ceiling twice, a leak from our roof, a shower that has to be gutted because it was installed incorrectly and most recently a broken furnace that turns out to be a fire hazard because of incorrect installation.  We are in the midst of the last two issues and they are going to require some major work.  In addition to all the problems, we have done considerable yard work, added gutters and have a never-ending list of projects.  We are definitely learning a lot about maintenance and home ownership and I’m pretty sure Hubbs has the home warranty number memorized.

 I could go on and on about these issues, the financial drain and stress that they are causing, but I choose in this situation to trust that God is in control and He will provide, in His way and in His time.  We have so much to be thankful for: the fact we have a roof over our heads, our health, our jobs, great family and friends and each other.  This is not to say I don’t have my moments of freaking out and pure panic about what we will discover next, but I am choosing (sometimes it’s a daily reminder) to let this experience grow our relationship and grow our dependence instead of acting as a barrier.  In the end, it’s only money, and you can’t take it with you.  Amen? Amen.

 

All that aside, I LOVE having a house.  More importantly, I have loved making our house a home.  I love having a space that is ours, a place that we can decorate to show our personalities, a place of comfort and a place to welcome others.  There are so many spots in our house that have “my” touch.  I’ve been able to develop my style and taste and am so proud of what I’ve done thus far.  There are many works in progress going on at all times, but look for some house updates soon!

BE BOLD

This blogging thing is hard!  I thought it would be so easy to write posts, but time gets away from me so quickly. Hopefully I’ll get into the rhythm at some point.  I recently (September 22^nd) celebrated my 27^th birthday and decided to steal a page out of my sister Tricia’s book and pick a word for my 27^th year of life.  For the past three years she has picked a word to focus on for that whole year—I’ve seen her be sassy, edgy and now fearless.  I love this as a simple goal for the year and spent several months leading up to my birthday trying to decide on my “word.”  I picked BOLD.

Dictionary.com defines bold as:  

Bold: adjective, bold·er, bold·est.

1.   not hesitating or fearful in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff; courageous and daring: a bold hero.

 

2.   not hesitating to break the rules of propriety; forward; impudent: He apologized for being so bold as to speak to the emperor.

 

3.   necessitating courage and daring; challenging: a bold adventure.

 

4.   beyond the usual limits of conventional thought or action; imaginative: Einstein was a bold mathematician. a difficult problem needing a bold answer.

 

I picked BOLD for three reasons: I want to be bold in my faith (as in not hesitating or fearful), I want to be bold in the way I love my husband (as in not hesitating to break the rules society has put around the husband/wife relationship) and I want to be bold in pursuing my dreams (as in being imaginitve in what my dreams are and courageous in following them).

BE BOLD IN YOUR FAITH.  Along with this word, I picked a verse from Revelations. 

Jesus talks about how it is better to be hot or even cold than lukewarm.  Indifference, apathy or “lukewarmness” (Gennaism) is the equivalent to not caring.  He wants us to be passionate for him, but if we are not passionate for him at least be fully against him—this state of lukewarm is the worst place you can be—in faith, in relationship and in life.  It means you are basically going through the motions.  I don’t want to go through the motions and I DON’T want to be against Christ.  I want to be passionately, BOLDLY FOR Him.  And I want people to know that about me.  I have always hidden behind sayings like “well I would rather show my beliefs in my actions instead of talking about them” or “be the Jesus people see in the world” or “people are turned off by evangelical Christians.”  No more.  We are called to make disciples, we are called to spread His name and His love.  If I truly believe what I profess to believe, how can I stop talking about the One who saved me?  The One who has made my life so much better?  The One who has turned hard situations in my life to good?  Yet I am meek in my faith—I am scared of what others think, of offending anyone, of turning someone off from Christ because of my sins and imperfections.  NO MORE!  This year I will be bold.  Another way I want to be BOLD in faith is truly trusting and relying on Christ.  It’s so easy to say we do this and so hard to actually execute.  In the last year I have seen how much I really control situations and how little I surrender to Christ.  Control is a huge sin-struggle for me and I am committed to working on that this year.  I pray that I will have stories to share over the next year of how I have acted BOLDLY in faith.

BOLDLY LOVE MY HUSBAND.  Newton is my biggest blessing, and I really do believe if we want to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime, we need to invest in our relationship daily.  That doesn’t mean we have this perfect relationship because we don’t, but we really do work at it.  We work at listening to each other, encouraging each other, communicating well, fighting well and extending grace to one another.  While we fail each other in little ways constantly, we know that our marriage is grounded first in Christ, second in love and respect for each other and third in a non-negotiable commitment.  I pray that we always have this attitude.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the world’s definition of relationships, especially marriage.  It’s often depicted as overbearing wives, lazy husbands, little romance, little fun, and even less sex.  I want to break these stereotypes that society has created around marriage and BOLDLY love Newton.  I never want to stop encouraging him, showing him how much I admire and respect him, having fun with him or just enjoying our life together.  We don’t spend every minute together, we do fight, we do get on each other’s nerves, we do complain about each other sometimes—but the point is we work at it every day and I know this man is committed to loving me, despite my imperfections and faults, for the rest of my life.   

BE BOLDER IN PURSUING MY DREAMS.  I have lots of ideas, lots of dreams about how my future will pan out.  This is one place I need to BOLDLY trust Christ, yes; but I also don’t want to let these dreams fizzle into “what could have been.”  While I’m not ready to outline exactly what all those dreams include right now, I can say I am taking steps towards acting on them.  It may be years from now, but at least I’m doing SOMETHING about them.  I’m also working on being BOLD in pursuing opportunities and going after things that I want—including one recent opportunity at my current job; which I’m happy to say worked out!

I can’t wait to update periodically over the next year in the successes I’ve had in being BOLD!

Invincible, right?

On Sunday night in Boston, we had dinner with Lulie’s cousin, Alex.  He is an amazing man, a Director at Harvard, has three books published and a lifetime of experience.  We had a great time catching up with him and hearing about all of his recent travels all over the world.  One common topic kept resurfacing throughout our dinner, though, and that was his belated wife, Susan.  You can tell that Alex is not healed from his wife’s death several years ago of cancer.  He spoke with tears in his eyes of their 30 years together and how he knew the first time they met that there was something special about her.  He told of us of how they met and their quick courtship.  Seeing him reminisce nearly brought me to tears.  He had great marriage advice for Newton and I—from “she’s always right” to “always check with her first before committing to anything” to “put down the toilet seat.”  One piece of advice was said in all seriousness—that life is fragile and you should never take your health or anyone you love’s health lightly, it can be the difference between life and death.

This was such hard-hitting advice for me.  I am so young and don’t realize how often I think I am invincible.  I hear all the time, “it’s not if you hit hard times, it’s when” and I recognize and wholeheartedly believe that, but it’s in some distant, far away land.  There’s no way anything can hurt us now, right?  We haven’t even had kids yet!  There is so much life ahead of us! 

Wrong. 

Life is fragile and I see that every day.  I know I can’t shift to the opposite side of the spectrum, though, worrying about every time Newton leaves the house that something might happen, but I need to savor each moment in this life because all too fast it can pass you by or be taken from you too quickly.

Even after one short year of marriage, I cannot imagine my life without this man.  He is my best friend, my rock, my support, the leader of our family, my lover and my partner.  Sometimes I forget where I end and Newton begins—I am no longer an “I”  but a “we.”  Losing him would be the hardest thing I have ever gone through—I can’t imagine that multiplied by 30 years of marriage.  You truly would feel like you’ve lost half of yourself. 

Two become one.  

This is, biblically, how marriage is supposed to work: you die to self every day for your partner, you love unconditionally because you feel the unconditional love of Christ, you work to communicate, you invest and spend intentional time with each other and then it can be the most rewarding relationship in the world.  However, this is so counterintuitive to what the world preaches today.  So often it’s not about dying to self as much as it about keeping score, seeing what you can get out of the other person, noticing the shortcomings of your partner, and holding grudges. 
I am sure in 30 years of marriage Alex and Susan were not perfect, in fact I know they weren’t—and neither is any couple, especially us.  However, this was such a reminder to me that even in my imperfection and fallen state, I have been so blessed with what I feel is a “once in a lifetime” type of love and I should not take that for granted.  Alex has what the world would define as wealth, success and power, yet sitting at dinner with this man it was clear he would trade it all and give anything to have his wife back. 

I pray that I never forget how fleeting this life is and that I can appreciate my moments with Newton every day.  I pray that when the hard times hit—however they may come—that our foundation is strong and our faith is in the right place to help us through them.  I pray that we continue to surround ourselves with family and friends and strong support.  Finally I pray that we never stop working at our marriage; it’s not always easy but it’s always worth it.  I am so thankful for our night with Alex and all of the wisdom he shared with us.  I will keep his words close to my heart and never stop nagging about Newton's health.

Wicked fun in Boston!

This August I had a work conference in Boston.  We decided to turn it into a vacation/anniversary celebration.  Newton and I stayed in the city for three days and had such a great time—surrounded by history and getting to spend some much needed quality time together away from the hustle and bustle of Dallas. 

It’s amazing how easy it is to start interacting like roommates rather than husband and wife.  We constantly make an effort to plan date nights, spend intentional time with each other and everything you are “supposed” to do, but so many times life gets in the way!  More than anything on this trip, I just enjoyed spending time with my husband just the two of us.  It was so fun to laugh and joke with each other and spend three whole days just with one another—no work, no friends, no family.  You need that every once in a while to reconnect! 

And vacation confession: I would totally trade in our king size bed for a double (or even queen)—there’s not a better feeling in the world then knowing your husband is right next to you as you sleep.

Saturday was the Samuel Adams Brewery Tour and Dinner at Faneuil Market.

Vacation confession: I created a detailed itinerary that included every meal and attraction we would see while in Boston...we didn't follow even one day of it...

Sunday was brunch at Finale, a tour of Fenway Park and dinner with Newton's mom's cousin (additional post to follow).

Vacation confession: Fenway Park was so cool, probably my favorite thing about the trip...almost enough to make me want to cheer for the Red Sox...almost.

Monday we walked the Freedom Trail and enjoyed our last dinner in Boston.

 Boston Common--one of my favorite places in Boston

 The site of the Boston Massacre

Paul Revere's Hosue 

 On the way into the church where Paul Revere warned the British were coming

The end of the Freedom Trail...we didn't quite make it :)

Vacation confession: I loved Boston, but I wouldn't choose to live anywhere than where God has us at this exact moment.  I feel beyond blessed.  Although it would be nice to walk everywhere!

The one thing that was so cool about Boston was how much history was within the city and the mix of old and new, past and present throughout the whole city.  It's amazing we are just one moment in time, and how small that point is, especially in comparison to eternity. I get caught up in this moment and my life so easily, that I don't often think about the past or how much had to be done throughout history for me to enjoy my life exactly as it is today.  Big confession: there is not enough gratitude in my heart for the past, nor is there enough appreciation for all our troops do for us today.  This trip was eye opening in that way!

My Best Friend's Wedding Part I: Bridal Shower

My best friend is getting married in less than three months!  I could not be more excited for Kandace and Eric as they start their life together.  Kandace and I have been friends for almost 12 years now and we’ve been through so much together—from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows.  There is not enough I can say about my best friend—she is fiercely loyal, the best listener, encouraging, beautiful, funny, very smart, patient (with me…maybe not in traffic) and has been there every time I’ve ever needed her.  Together we have celebrated huge milestones…making the Varsity Golf Team, getting driver’s licenses, passing AP Calculus, Prom, graduating high school, starting college, pledging sororities, moving into our first apartment, picking majors, graduating college, first jobs, being young and single in Dallas, girls trips, engagements and of course, weddings .  Together we have also dealt with the hard times…boyfriends and breakups, emotional break downs, stress, health problems, broken relationships, failed friendships and lots of tears (okay, way more on my side than hers).  Kandace is truly my “lifetime friend,” an honestly more like my sixth sister.  I don’t know what I would do without her friendship in my life.  I can’t wait for her wedding to add another milestone to our list and for all the future celebrations to come!! 

As matron of honor, I had the privilege of helping host a bridal shower for Kandace.  I have realized over the last year the joy I get out of playing hostess and especially out of decorating and opening our home for family and friends to celebrate joyous occasions.  This was no exception.  I loved planning the shower with the other bridesmaids, preparing the decorations and the food and facilitating the event.  It’s such a blessing for me to be able to share in this special time in Kandace’s life and help her know how loved she is by all of us. 

Her mom (and my mom) and Eric’s family traveled all the way from Kansas City and Amarillo to attend the event—plus all of Kandace’s Dallas friends.  We had a great time eating, drinking, playing games and opening presents—below are some of the pictures of the event.  Look for more posts to come on Kandace’s wedding season!