Newton, the love of my life:
On this day that the world celebrates love I can’t
help but celebrate too. Only I’m
celebrating that I have a husband that tells me he loves me every day…that I
get to spend the next 80 Valentine’s Days with you…that we don’t need a day to
show each other how much we care, we strive to do that every day…that I have a
husband who wants to lead our family…that I have a husband who is smart,
caring, unselfish, hilarious, financially gifted, and loyal…but most of all a
husband that loves the Lord.
In March/April of 2009 you came into my life. I
remember going to Quarter Bar with Jon and meeting you there. Then I drove you both to Knox Street and you
told stories about the cruise you’d just gotten back from where your
grandfather missed the boat. That was the first time you made me laugh. I remember thinking about how sweet you
seemed and how I hoped I would get to hang out with you again. Then there was a stream of hanging out—late
nights at Knox, Cotes du Coeur’s, brunches, baseball games, our first date,
happy hours, fun times at Franks, dinners and more dates after that. In June you finally had the nerve to make it
“official.” I was so excited when Amber
called to tell me that I was in a relationship!
You posted on facebook and confirmed the conversation we had two days
before was, in fact, a request to be boyfriend/girlfriend. That
was the first time my heart wondered what was ahead for us. Time passed and we got to know each other
better. There were lots of fun times and
happy memories with friends, I met your family, you flew to Kansas City, we
went to wedding after wedding after wedding…I grew to appreciate you so
much. Your humor, your ability to laugh
at yourself, the way you care for your friends, your selflessness, your heart. Then came March of 2010. You were confused. You were unsure. You needed time. We broke up.
That was the first time I knew I
loved you. I wasn’t mad, I didn’t
blame you. You treated me exactly how
you should in that situation. You were
respectful, caring and honest. You never
said one harsh or mean thing. I was just
sad. Sad to lose you. Sad to miss out on a future with you. Sad because I knew the potential you
had. Sad because I knew while you were
walking away and I was praying for your happiness that I truly loved you.
Four weeks (and some chance meetings) later you sent
me an email. “Can we meet for
yogurt? We need to talk.” My breath caught in my chest. That
was the first time I had hope. We
met and you told me you wanted to get back together. You said everything I dreamed you would say
and more. You literally repeated the
list of things that I had surrendered to God to change about our relationship
and how we could work on them. You swept
me off my feet. I tried to keep my guard
up. I tried to keep you at arm’s length
until I knew I wouldn’t get hurt again.
I failed. I was yours the moment
you hugged me in Yogalicious. That was the first time I knew we were
different. From then you were Newton
v 2.0—the new and improved. You were all
in and dedicated to our relationship. We
had our first fight. We made up. You told me you loved me “because you
couldn’t keep it in anymore.” You made
me so happy. That was the first time I knew for certain I would marry you.
Summer passed and
we grew closer and closer. I got to see
all of that potential I knew was there grow and blossom in our
relationship. Fall came around and you
mentioned the possibility of us meeting Jackson and Haley in Switzerland. It felt like a fairytale. I was worried about money—my mom told me I
was crazy, I had to go. The possibility
turned into reality and all of a sudden you had booked us plane tickets. That
was the first time I thought engagement was a possibility. Meanwhile you were telling me as often as you
could it wouldn’t happen until the next spring and trying to “manage
expectations.” Little did I know you
were buying a ring, collecting letters and cards from my family and friends,
asking my dad’s permission and planning a fairytale proposal. The engagement happened perfectly—exactly how
it should for us. You calm, collected
and confident; me oblivious and focused on something completely ridiculous
(like Swiss doors). You took my breath
away again. It wasn’t the ring, it
wasn’t the scenery, although both were beautiful. It was the fact that seeing you down on one
knee represented getting to spend the rest of my life with you. That was
when I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I did at that moment.
Engagement wasn’t easy for me. Wedding planning was stressful. I cried A LOT. I still cry a lot, but that is neither here
nor there. I did take time each month
leading up to our wedding to write you a note about everything I was feeling. At 7 months before our wedding I was anxious
to start our life together and share everything, big to small, with you. At 6 months before our wedding, I wanted you
to understand how thankful I was for you and that you are “truly a unique
man—so different from the way men are portrayed today. You are loving and loyal, caring and kind,
honest and truthful and unselfish and wise.”
At 5 months before our wedding we were setting the foundation to our
marriage through our premarital class.
This class encouraged conversation and really took our joint faith to
the next level. Something that I still
see growing every day in our marriage. I
also got to see glimpses into your heart through your perspective on
issues/ideas/life in general. This time
was so special to me. At 4 months before
our wedding I was amazed at how you handled buying a house—how much you cared
about our future home, how you handled the transaction on your own, and how you
included me in the whole process. At 3
months before our wedding I was reminded what a huge part choice has in loving
someone. We may have disagreements,
pressures are high, we get grumpy, I act crazy J
you fart J But every day we
choose to love each other and love each other well. Not everyone has that in life and for that I
am truly blessed. At 3 months before our
wedding I was reflecting on all we’d accomplished in the last months—engaged,
planning a wedding, getting a dog, buying a house—and that the thing that made
all of it so fun was getting to do it all with you. “I have been everything from elated and happy
to anxious and scared-but no matter how I felt at any given time I rest in the
fact we love and accept each other completely and are committed for better or
worse until death do we part.” At 1
month before our wedding I realized how much we’ve proven “you and me together,
we can do anything baby,” and how lucky I am to have you as a partner in this
life and eternity. Then the big day
came. The happiest day of my life. We were surrounded by family and friends all
there to celebrate us and help us start our life together. That
was when I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I did at that moment.
Now six months
have passed and I wake up every day knowing you and loving you more and
more. I am amazed when I look back at
every point of our relationship and think…I thought I loved him then, but I
didn’t know I would love him THIS much TODAY. We’ve been through so much and haven’t even
tipped the scale yet. The highest of
highs and the lowest of lows are still in our future. But I can rest easy knowing that you will
be by my side for all of it. I never understood how two could become one until
I met you. Now I cannot imagine my life
without you in it. You are my best
friend and the love of my life. I
admire, respect and love you with all that I am and will work to spend the rest
of my life showing you that.
So we remember the past,
for it got us to this place; and we welcome the future and the adventure we
have in store. I can’t wait to experience
it all with you. I love you always and
forever.Mrs. NU10
No comments:
Post a Comment